The Continued Background Story

It has been awhile since I posted. I have been busy attending my school and work as well as making time for my wife and kids. It has definitely been a challenge to manage all these things. I am not sure how I came about doing all of this at one time. I knew I wanted a family while I was young and knew I wanted to finish school as well. It is weird how things play out in the end and we always have to remind ourselves that we will not be made overnight. I have to continue to tell myself that everyday.

So I left off with being dropped by my fiance and having my world crumble around me. I went up to a buddies room and told him what happened. He immediately told me to get my swim gear and call up another buddy of ours. I asked him what for and he told me that were are going to the beach to get drunk and forget about all of this. I don't usually condone all of this type of action but at the time I didn't care and just wanted the pain to go away and this seemed the best logical approach. I ended up getting pretty drunk and fell asleep on the ferry while coming back from the island we went to. It was good times and it helped me get the process of grieving started and over with.

After all of this happened I went back to talking with some old friends and an old girl I used to talk to but never dated. We talked the rest of the time I was at Tech School and when I went home on my 2 week vacation in between my duty station and tech school we met up and started dating. I thought I was falling in love all over again and wanted this to work so bad that I made myself believe it was going to work. So we ended up dating for awhile and I even flew down to see her and ended up proposing to her. She accepted and everything was happy until I went back home and felt all alone again. I have probably only one fear in life and that is of being alone. She also became controlling to the point when I left my dorm room I had to call her and let her know where I was going. This was not what I was wanting and it showed me that she did not trust me in what I was doing. So I called off the engagement and she reacted probably about the same way I did when I was dumped just a year before that. I realized I didn't love this girl and that she was a rebound from my ex and that I needed time to heal first. I had to take time for myself and get my life straight to move on. That is what I did and made a new friend along the way.

In my next post I will talk about who I met and where things went from there.